Thinking positively; what a great thing to do! It’s easy when things are going well… an absolute doddle. But it isn’t easy when things are going badly. Try thinking positively when you’ve just been made redundant, or you’ve just pranged your car… as my sister found out last week. It isn’t easy then. What do we do when life hands you lemons?
There is no one – and I mean no one – who sails through life without moments of loss, disappointment and pain. There are times when despite our best efforts, things just don’t turn out the way we want them to.
Did you ever notice that some people seem to handle life’s lemons more easily are bounce back fairly quickly after experiencing some kind of hardship? There are others that are stuck in pain, depression or even bitterness after a disappointing experience. How can you learn to bounce back quickly when life gets you down?
Bouncing Back and How to Start Thinking Positively
Bouncing back creates an empowering spirit of resilience, and it gives you ongoing abilities to recover and adjust to misfortune or change. While doing research on this topic, I came across an article that offers some very helpful tips on how to do just that. I’d like to share some of those tips with you now…
You are Not a Victim
One of the most important things to remember is that you are not a victim of your circumstances. Instead of asking, “why is this happening to me?” and getting stuck in self-pity mode, turn your thoughts around and start thinking positively.
Focus instead on how you may have played a part in the event and what you could have done differently. This is empowering because it gives more control back to you. Learn as much as you can from the situation and walk away knowing how to handle things better in the future.
Don’t Play the Blame Game
Instead of blaming everyone and everything else, step up and take responsibility for the situation. Responsibility is not the same as blaming yourself. Taking responsibility simply means that you were involved in the situation.
Learning that very important difference helps you to acknowledge your involvement in whatever happened and walking away with life’s lessons. This is also very empowering since it helps you to learn how to handle a similar situation in the future. It helps you see what YOU could do differently and moves you out of self-pity.
Let It Go
It may seem like it’s impossible to keep re-living and re-playing the event in your mind. It can seem like the words and details of what happened are on “auto-play” and keeps you hanging onto the situation.
Now let’s face it. There will be times when things just don’t go the way you want them to. There will also be times when what you don’t want to happen…happens.
If you can accept the situation, instead of wishing and hoping it had gone your way; it will make it so much easier to move on from the event. It is what it is, so to speak, and acceptance of this fact will help you deal with it.
Once you move on to a mindset of acceptance, you can open yourself to what can be learned from the experience rather than fall into the victim and blaming trap.
Moving Forward (Make Lemonade!)
In any situation, there are always some positive steps we can take to move forward and start to thinking positively. After looking at the situation, see if there’s some positive action you can take to make things better.
For example, if you lose your job, what positive steps could you take to move forward? In this case, you might dust off the resume and apply to other jobs, network with friends and former colleagues or update your profile on LinkedIn.
You see, there are always ways of looking at it from a solution point of view. Empowering actions you can take to move onward and upward from life’s disappointments.
At the end of the day, we’re all going to experience disappointments and upsets in our lives. The key to bouncing back and learning how to start thinking positively is to switch to a solution-focused mindset sooner than later. Remember that it’s not about how bad the circumstances are, or how many things are going wrong, it’s about accepting the situation.
From there, you need to understand you are not a victim in all this, rather an empowered person who has choices and can take action to make things better.
Life may not always turn out the way you want it to, but by focusing less on expectations and accepting what is, you are in a much better position to switch gears and move forward. Use these tips as a stepping stone to feel happier and more positive, filled with enriching life lessons along the way.
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